Randomosity

So I have readers in Alaska, super. I don't even know anyone in Alaska. I don't have internets, it's gay. My Husband wants all up in my clam station all the time. I like putting fake mustaches on his member so that it looks like I have a mustache when I. . .well, you get the idear. I miss the face of Susan. I'm using her personality for the basis of Suki. Suki is a stripper, an asian stripper. I'm writing three stories at once. I should probably finish one first but it's hard to write about a world that you no longer live in. I'm trying to be a better housewife by cleaning everyday, it's lame. Marriage and a family aren't for me but it's my job to stay and I make it work. I'd like to thank my father for brainwashing me as a teen. Good jarb there, dad. Notice how I don't capitalize those titles. That shows lack of importance.

Facebook Arguments, YAY!

Susan, you inspired me to update this. So let's see how much I can type out before my Peaches calls. Here we go bitches.
So as some of you may know, people are being retarded spazes on teh internets. What's new? Well anyway, I posted this on fb after a bunch of patriotic idiots were dancing on the streets over Osama's death.

"Mr. Seth Gamble has the most appropriate post at this time. - "An eye for an eye will only turn the whole world blind.""
So my aunt decides to comment "Well ragheads are blind in one eye anyway."
Which Susan replies with this:
"Well, usually Muslims are refers to as 'rag heads' as a derogatory term. So when you use 'rag head' when talking about a terrorist, then say 'usually' it pretty much says you're saying that all 1,570,000,000 Muslims in the word are terrorist when truly, only about 10,000 are. That's less than .2%

So if you don't wanna look like a bigot don't use the term 'rag head' or usually when talking about Muslims. Just sayin'"

And that's what started an irrelevant, name calling, immature fb argument. The post was 100+ comments but I see that someone deleted a lot of what they posted. Lame I know. Well the gist of it is two people not smart enough to have a based, relevant argument. So they just start right in with name calling. Bringing people into the argument that weren't in it to begin with. They ended up just making themselves look stupid. Which I'm sure they eventually realized. Hence the disappearing comments. I guess the moral of the story is: don't argue if you don't know how to do it maturely. Don't always assume people will defend you based on your relation to them. And don't get so huffy over what an eighteen year old girl said on the internet when you're like 40-50 years old!

This post is total fail in the way it's written. But meh, fck it.

So once upon a time i lived in a city that was in need of a hero but there was none to be found. A city where the sound of people, gunshots, homeless beggars and colored folk trying to sell drugs to every passerby were normal. This troubled city was Minneapolis. I lived there or really just mooched off my friend and her then boyfriend. Good times were had...sorta. Depending if you find grown men crying funny like myself. haha, yes. Well anyways, there I was, on a quest of great importance: to find a job. It was the november of 2005 and I must've applied for at least 20 jobs in a month. The days went by and still no call backs. Then one day, Beckie and I were walking to the mall when we noticed a "Now Hiring" sign in a window. . .

The church of scientology, we so went all up in that business and applied. They were very eager to hire employees or really just people to brainwash I'm sure. These people were pretty friendly. They somewhat explained the religion to us and asked us if we were believers...uhhh haha. Of course, like all religion nuts, they tried to convince us of their beliefs and point out the "wrongs" in what we believed. They had us take personality tests. Naturally, at the time, Beckie scored better than I. Afterwards we scheduled interviews eventhough it seemed, from the moment we walked in the door, they were interviewing us. So for my interview the lady brought me upstairs to some office in a corner. She asked me if I was wearing anything tight and to loosen it up if i was. She had me pull down my socks and said i could undo my pants if they applied pressure to my stomach...oh kay... She then told me to grab her jugs and proceeded to pull out some metal cylinders. I had to test them to see which ones my hands fit around the best. She then plugged them into a meter and began to ask me questions like: What stresses you the most? Do you sometimes feel your body or skin twitching? (These are muscle spasms but they 'believe' the twitching means your ancestor had one of the original alien souls) Have you ever wanted something but never told anyone? Have you ever lied? Have you ever made yourself sick? Have you ever practiced sodomy? What has somebody told you not to tell? I thought this was all pretty silly. That wasn't even half of the "interview". We stopped because i wasn't completely comfortable according to this lady. I hadn't eaten breakfast (i never do) and i slept only a couple hours due to an all night mmmorpg session. That's an online game to you non-geeks.

So she told me to call and reschedule for when I knew i'd be "comfortable". I never called back when i was told of their varied commission based pay. That didn't stop our parents from being upset about this little venture though. Beckie's mom and both my parents were very bothered about us even setting foot in this "church". They freaked out claiming that we would be brainwashed and we'd lose who we really were. My parents usually, almost never, bother me on what I do. Whereas Beckie's parents, to put it nicely, are very "involved" in their children's lives. But aside from that, scientology is just down right silly but I suppose most religion is if you really look at it for what it is. Scientology is just the easiest to make fun of because it's fckin' ridiculous. It should just be called The Church of Tom Cruise because he's the one pulling the damn strings and being a control freak. So go apply at your local church of scientology and then watch the South Park episode Trapped in the Closet. I assure you, that episode is even funnier when you've had a 1st hand account. Throughout the episode it says at the bottom of the screen "This is what scientologists actually believe." Matt and Trey so weren't lying when they made that episode. They did their homework and I thank them for that!

This One's For You

So apparently I've got someone researching me so they can leave 'rude' comments about me. Which is awesome. I so feel loved. But I must say, I am not a damn ginger! Gingers are not real people and therefore they should be bought and sold as slaves. That's why I put up with my little brother Jish. He's fortunate enough to be living my very glamorous crawl space. Sure it's damp down there and he gets sick from the mold but that's what he gets for being born ginger. Ok enough about gingers.

The point is, insult accurately dammit. Like the time someone made a twitter account, seemingly, just to hate on me. I'm getting me some pretty awesome stalkers because of the people i choose to associate with on the internets. Which is fine by me. I like these people so make fun of and/or accuse me of whatever you want. I find it's quite amusing. So to that person on twitter: No, i would not sex that married man. For multiple reasons being: 1. i'm married 2.if i weren't married, i'm pretty sure i'd be a Lickalottapuss. 3. oh and i'm not a damn homewrecker. As for the person leaving me wonderful comments on a blog that isnt even mine: No, i'm not actually a lesbian but i'm pretty sure i'm at least bi. Yes, i like facial hair but i find myself more attracted to women. So if you're a hottie with big bewbs and a sweet mustache, i will leave my husband and (his mom but don't tell him that!) to marry you. I look forward to our date.

Memories

I laid there in his arms crying, hoping he wouldn't wake up. After a year of not knowing anything or anyone but him, my memories had suddenly come rushing back. They flooded my mind and heart. I was overwhelmed with so many emotions. I had never loved another man as much as him and now i had to make the decision to let him go. Could I really go back to living the life I had before my accident, before the amnesia. My husband was willing to take me back for the sake of our children. He promised to try and forgive me for leaving him, for leaving our family that we had made together. I wondered what my love would do when his memory returned. Would he go back to his wife, to the life he knew before i was in it? What about the life that we had made together. I wondered if it really meant anything. Would he still love me after the love for his wife returned to his memory? Not that it mattered really. I had a husband and 2 children waiting halfway across the country for me to come home. I felt so guilty, so selfish. All I wanted was him, My Love, and to lay here in his arms forever. Hoping my memories of the life before him would just vanish as they had done before.


*sorry if any of my grammer sucks l0lz.

She's Not Crazy

Today I was remembering some past employees. When working in the buisiness of pizza, you tend to get stuck working with some real winners. There's been a couple of 'em that pissed me off and I called retarded. It turned out that they actually were in some way. Haha i'm sooo nice! I never apologized and i don't feel bad for it either. I'm generally a nice person. If you're not my husband, it takes a lot to get me to blow up on you. When you work with a bunch of dumb, insubordinate assholes it's ok though.

So there was a teenager that worked with us for a couple months. She was pregnant and seemed pretty extatic about it. Her boyfriend didn't exactly look like the the 'i'll take care of my family' type. It turned out she got an abortion because the voices in her head told her to kill her baby but she wasn't crazy. First off, if i had voices in my head telling me stuff i wouldnt be telling every tom, dick and harry about it. I mean, i totally do not have voices in my head. That'd just be crazy....and second, if i had an abortion i sure the fck wouldn't tell anyone. Well i'd never get one anyways. The moral of the story here is that this girl would rather come off creepy and crazy rather than just say "I'm not ready for this" or "My douchy drug addicted looking boyfriend made me do it." Aside from that she tried to take the title of Pregnant Lady because she thought she was the first person to be pregnant there. That title is mine bitch! There's a co-worker that still calls me that. Which i dont know if that's her calling me fat or what.

You're Wanted in the Nurse's Office

So does anyone remember back in school when they did those yearly scoliosis checks? They have you bend over and the 'nurse' comes up behind you. (No this isn't a rape story.) They run a scale-ish thing down your spine and you were most likely to have boobs resting on the back of your head/neck. Getting the examiner with a big rack sucked. I swear they didn't even try to hold them boobies up at all! That's a lot of weight to hold up when you're a bent over 10 year old. Or maybe that was just part of the exam.

How about them good ol' headlice checks? When them lice monkies were going around school and you were called to the nurse's office after the intial inspection, that's when the segregation began. Everyone treated you like the diseased rat that you'd known you always were. Now your secret is out and those kids you called friends are no longer around. Well within 10 feet because we all know that these lil fckers can fly. I mean, you know how hard it is to avoid lice when you got 5 siblings?! Once you get rid of the little bastards, the infestation, (the lice not the siblings) you'd just get 'em right back. It was a never ending circle. I mean, not that i ever had lice.... This is so not about me when I was a kid in school with lice er I mean when i was an a-hole to those loser poor kids who did have it.